I was walking through the straight narrow muddy road in the
middle of coconut tree field very fast. It was in the late morning and I could
see the rainbows in the dews, on the tip of grasses. As usual I was not giving
too much attention to what my skies and grass and all nature were showing to
me, as I told before I was walking fast and concentrating on my very walk. You
can actually think that it had a purpose. I forgot to tell you this, as a reader
you plays a vital role in this, don’t feel hectic, but just give a long sound
yawn and give me an opinion, that’s it, no too much heavy work to do. One old
man asked me
‘Where are you going so fast?’
I smiled at that guy. People in my village were like that,
they will ask some questions to anybody they see on the way. Asking so many
questions to somebody was always a difficult job for me. How you will remember
the questions? Even if you reiterate through some questions that you have
prepared, you will always forget. Then it will be always those stupid smile and
broken pieces of words told meaningless. But behind each of those broken words,
I always had an ocean of words, which were like floating around without making
any meaningful talk..!! But for me those
words were like one guy who gave his best speech or was something like the most
meaningful statement of the era..!! The most meaningful words of the era..!! I
ran almost through those slippery muddy road, it was paining in the ankles.
As expected she was waiting near the wall near the college.
My friends were running bike through that road. I told my father to get me a
bike and that decision was still pending. My friends waved hands to me, I
smiled at them. She was in a rose flower in white color churidhar, and she had a
very long hair. As she saw me from distant she gave me a smile. Whenever she
smiles, I could see the rabbit teeth on one side, which was making her smile
prettier. She was always beautiful for me and I was not caring too much
attention on that pretty face, though she was beautiful. I always knew that I
will never be able to afford such a pretty face, but why again I was talking to
her was a question that I always asks to myself? I never had an answer, but it
was a pull every day to meet her and talk to her, and when she talks, I was
feeling, like we knew very long time back itself, like in some other life or
something. And after she came in my life, I forgot to tell how she came into my
life. It was all of sudden. One day I was sitting in the canteen, as usual
having a lazy mind and soul, at least I could sip a coke can like some rock
guys do. I saw her first sitting right opposite to me, giving me a look. I had
no idea, how I took advantage of a look and she started talking to me. When I
looked back it seems like a dream to me. A girl coming to me and speaking few
words, I almost might got fainted down, but nothing happened. It didn’t had any
punch with a flavor of some theme music kind of stuff and all, but I liked that
very moment and I never could forget either. She was pretty and she used to
talk or I used to talk whenere we meet. I started talking a lot in fact after
meeting her. The guy who used to speak only scrambled, not very meaningful
words, started talking meaningful words. I started to speak everything to her, if
I couldn’t speak something that happened in my life to her, it would be leaving
a wound inside my heart and when I tell even if the stupidest thing that I ever
did in my life also was giving me a feeling like a shower on my heart. She used
to wait for me near the college every day, then we used to walk. Walking with
her was like rain started coming and we run under a tree and talking to her was
like getting wet in the rain while I fly spreading my hands like a superman
under the sky. I used to speak a lot and she also used to speak lot, those
talks were or becoming my oxygen or becoming my life..
One day I took her to a river side, we sat there for a very
long time. She never talked about her private life ever to me, but she always
talk about subjects that I am interested in. She had an opinion on everything
that I used to talk, she also had something to add or just talk. I used to talk
about everything that was happening in my life and she will tell something on
that was a wonderful feeling for me. When I can’t speak, when I wanted to cry,
I will put my head on her shoulders and we used to cry together, then we used
to cross the fingers each other and then we will spend lot of time sitting
together. She somehow always used to understand me in every detail I had to talk.
I wanted to take her home all the time to introduce to my
parents, but I never expected that she will do a smart act ever with me. she
one day came in my bed room when there was nobody at home. It was a total
surprise to me. She had a book for me when she came. It had some poems which
she liked. Poems were something which I never could crack or digest, but she
was reading it so nicely that I was very much attracted towards its lyrics. Lyrics
were going on something like if we could disappear from the world to live in
another world where there is a valley, river, skies and my butterflies. We
lived in that world for some time, looking at those butterflies flying around
my tree near the river that we had beneath those huge mountains in my dream. That
was the first time, I was ever noticing a poem or that was the first time, I
was ever noticing lyrics. Then we got out of the room and started walking and
sat in one of the half built wall. It was bit muddy though, but when I was with
her, I always loved those mud, grass and everything that was around me. When
she smile or laugh, I sometimes feel like slip through those wet mud roads and
get dirt and get wet on the rain. Then she will laugh loud sometimes, like some
smart girls laugh. I wanted to be a smart boy all the time. But after she came
into my life, I seriously had these notions that I am really a smart guy or let
me put this way, she never let me feel otherwise. I really wanted to ask why
that was happening with me?, but with her I will be always busy and I never got
time to seriously think otherwise. Or did I became a smart guy after meeting
her. I will have always something to talk to her and it became like I had only
one person to talk all my problems in this world, she became that girl.
Sometimes I will close my eyes on the bed and think how good it feels every
moment I spent with her, and every moment that I lived. I wanted to live those
life again. If my life was a movie player..I could rewind my life..to live with
all those good moments.
We had our relationship for few years and I was enjoying
every moment of it. Or in her words, I was living in the valley near her huge
mountains, river, sky and butterflies. Then it happened, one day when I came to
her as usual, she was crying out and tear was not stopping from her eyes. I
asked What’s the reason? It was like in every typical teenage melodrama, her
parents got transfer and she will be leaving me in few days. That day we both
cried a lot. That day she was telling all her stories and that was the time I
was hearing a lot from her about her personal life. Next day I wanted to introduce
her to my friends as she will be leaving in few days. My friends never seen me
talking each other much and I never spoke about her to my friends either. That
day she came in a very good dress that I used to like and we went to my friends
to introduce her. This time I was speaking.
I told to my friends that she is leaving, and to my surprise
one of my friend asked me ‘Who is going?’..I told her name and pointed to her,
another my friend asked ‘Are you mad, there is nobody here..’. I told her name
and told ‘you not seeing her?’. One of my friend told ‘are you crazy, don’t
fool around?’..I felt like my entire head is twisting around me..i could see
her like I had been seeing her all the time..She was just smiling to me. I came
to stable mind and told them ‘guys, don’t make fun of me..she is leaving
tomorrow’. One in the group told ‘are you out of your mind..? get lost man..’.
I was totally confused and I had no idea what to do..i could see her and I had
been talking to her like years and I don’t know if you can imagine when
somebody tell like either ‘you are mad’ or ‘they can’t see her’. So whats
happening with me..what is true in this..Either I am mad or they can’t see her
or they are fooling around. I decided to check the last option..i told her to
ask for route to library to the girl who was standing near. She went and asked
the girl who was standing there, the route to library, but to my surprise, that
girl was not even listening to her, though finally my girl started asking in so
sound. I understood that fact that either I am mad or people can’t see her. How
can I be mad like this for years..When I think about the memories with her, it
was like a melting ice, very faded memories, but had the chillness and beauty
of early morning. Did not have any idea whether it is telling that she never
existed as a human being? Though it was very faded memories, it was few of my
happiest moments in my life. How can that be unreal? Or is it something like
madness is.. feeling unreal as reality. I thought..!! I looked at her, she gave
me a smile and that was the most beautiful smile I ever seen in my life..!! I
never could leave her alone..even though I had to digest the fact that people
may call me mad..!! But her love was enough for me to kill all those pain or
sorrows that could give me by all people..
